#But I’m still curious because I was in love with it for so long yaknow

[antiquepearlss]

As someone who no longer reads LO but kinda wants to read the final episode just to see how it ends; I have a feeling it will feel like this.

[grimoire-of-thirst]

Gauze, band-aids, and a drop of Love

Request: Hello there, man i love your blog OwO I’m really curious how William would react when his s/o would take care of him after he comes back injured from a mission or something. Like, he never got to experience care cause of his family yaknow, and i can’t really imagine what he would do or say. So may i request a scenario about it? ❤️ Sorry if this sounds weird lmao, ily

Genre&Warnings: Fluff, mention of blood, yandere-ish themes, light little space, insta-romance (’cause why not), 

Tags: none

✩:✩:✩

Despite being in pain, despite all the wounds and cuts that were littered on his body, William was calmly walking toward his room. He was able to hide most of the blood that was on his clothes, and once he knew he was alone, he took a moment to rest against the wall. His body was tired, head-spinning at all the blood he lost, while the wounds were hurting.

He had put his comrade’s needs above his own, asking Mimosa to take care of Yuno and Klaus, instead of treating him. It wasn’t anything new, he always made sure that the members of his brigade were properly treated, so he had nothing to do but to treat his injuries once he'd reach the safety of his room.

However, there was one thing that William had not predicted, and that was a stranger, a face he had never seen before, running toward him and offering support. His sight wasn't in the best condition, due to all the fatigue, and his body had no strength left, so the only thing he could make out of this person was the shape of the face and the length of the hair. William tried to stand on his own, stubborn on not letting that person see him, the Captain of the Golden Dawn, so weak, but he failed, losing his balance and relying on the strength of the other person, which luckily caught him and was now struggling to keep him up and not fall on the ground.

"Oh my! Alright! It's fine! I can- I can help you! Where's your room?" from the sweetness of the voice, and softness of the body, it was clear to William that whoever was helping him was a woman, and this made him feel even more guilty. Someone, who had less strength than him, was willingly offering to look after him. Burdening someone with his problems was not something he was enthusiastic about.

“I apologize, this is highly inappropriate of me… You can let me-“

“Nope! You’re bleeding for god’s sake! Everyone is asleep by now, I will attend your wounds just tell me where your room is!” you insisted, turning around and adjusting his arms around your neck. You crouched down, arms circling the back of his knees, and with all the strength your body possessed, you forced him up, bringing both of his legs at your sides for easier carriage. William was taken aback. Never, no one had ever shown him such promptness on helping others.

“Alright, big boy, guide me toward your den!” you said, adding a note of cheerfulness to alleviate the gloom that you felt radiating off of his body. William gently scoffed, amused by the choice of words, and, despite trying to not rely too much on you, he let his chin rest in the crook of your neck. He was far too exhausted to stop you.

“The second door on the right” he mumbled, scrunching up his nose when one of his wounds started bleeding again. He didn’t care much if his clothes got dirtier, they were already soaked in blood, but he felt bad for the stranger that was carrying him. Blood will surely seep through your clothes as well, and another sheer of guild washed through him.

“I’m sorry” he mumbled softly.

“About what?” you asked, trying to get the door open. With your hands being busy at keeping him up, getting a hold of the handle was proved to be far more challenging than you originally expected, but William was quick to help you out, pressing on it and pushing it wide open.

“Your clothes. Blood will stain-”

“Aaah… Don’t worry about them!” you said, flashing a small smile before focusing on putting him on the bed as gently as possible. Maneuvering through the dark was not on your best qualities list, but the light that was coming through the halls was helping you a lot, showing you where the bed was.  After making sure that he was comfortably seated, you turned around, flicking on the lights. Then, you began to take his cape off, along with the top of his uniform.

William just stood there, trying to adjust his eyes to the light and make out most of your facial features. If you were helping him, he at least wanted to know how you looked like, so in the future, he could repay you for the kindness you were showing him.

“Don’t force your sight. Right now, all you need is to get a bath, get your wounds cleaned and patched, and lots of sleep. You lost a lot of blood, your body is tattered in bruises and cuts that are still bleeding, forcing yourself to do something will only worsen your state.” You said, voice soft as if you were talking to a baby. William was, once again, surprised. The softness of the tone you used, along with the gentle way you were taking care of him, was overwhelming. It was a first to him.

All his life no one cared about his well-being. His parents were never lovely toward him, never showing him an ounce of love, or something that could resemble affection. Yet, there you were, a total stranger, caring for him more than anyone had ever done in his entire life. He could argue that there was his squad, everyone in the Golden Dawn cared for him, but none of them ever talked to him with such kindness when in pain.

The longer he looked at you, attending his bruises with such care, the more he felt… weird. He couldn’t properly describe the feeling, but it was making him all giddy. His stomach too felt funny, but it was pleasant.

"Hands up," you said. William did as you said, albeit with a little bit of struggle due to the pain that he was feeling. As you removed his undershirt, which had some patches of blood, William felt heat rushing to his cheeks, warming them up. He was now half-naked, in front of a stranger -woman on top of that- and he couldn’t avoid feeling embarrassed.

You took a brief moment to examine all the bruises and cuts, huffing once you understood that his legs too were probably scarred. It seemed that it was going to be a long night.

“Where is the bathroom?” you asked, gathering all his clothes into a pile. William pointed to a door right next to his desk, mumbling a small ‘Over there’.  He didn’t mean to sound so weak, almost childish, but there was something about you, and the way you were behaving with him, that made him feel safe.

You gave him a quick nod, before taking the clothes in your arm and moving toward the pointed door, pushing it open with your hip. After dumping the garments on the floor, you moved toward the bathtub, letting the warm water run and half-filling it. You checked the soap that was on the side, making sure that it didn’t have any chemicals that could burn or infect his wounds, and then looked around for a rug to use.

You finally found one in one of the cabinets and put it on the side of the tub. Quickly, you moved back to where you left him, and gently grabbed his arm, helping him up.

“C’mon big boy! Time to get you cleaned up!” you said, putting his arm on your shoulder while your right one kept him up. William hummed, letting you drag him toward the bathroom.

“What is your name?”

“Y/n, you can sue me later for invasion of privacy, but now get naked and hop in the tub!” you said, taking the rug and soaking it in the mild water. Meanwhile, William stood there for a moment before finally kicking off his boots, socks, and pants. He left his underwear on -even if he was dizzy, he still felt embarrassed at the idea of being naked in front of a stranger-. He put one of his hands on your shoulder, looking for balance while getting in the tub, and promptly, you helped him sit in the water.

As soon as he sat, you began to clean the blood that was on his body, paying special attention to the wounds, thoroughly cleaning the edges. Then, you added a little bit of soap and began to gently scrub off the remaining blood on his arm. The warmth of the water that was surrounding his aching body, along with the lulling touches that you gently used to clean him, was making him feel sleepy. It felt like he was being pampered, and this feeling of safety that he was experiencing with you, made him realize how much he liked it, how much he craved for such motherly touch that he never had the honor to experience.

This, this was how his mother should have been. This is how he should’ve been when he was a kid. This was what William wanted all along, and nobody had ever offered it to him. His own family disregarded him, abused him, used him only for his magic, and there you were, a total stranger, taking care of him like he was a child.

This feeling of safety and care was something that was growing on him in such a short time, and it truly surprised him. The only frustrating thing, was the inability of his eyes on focusing, to see who was healing him. He knew, right ahead, that in the future he'll seek for that person, he knew he was growing attached to a stranger, but he couldn't find the wrong in that. You were the first person that showed him genuine care, the first person to ever show him what physical affection truly felt like… because that was physical affection, right?

Soft, velvety touches, healing someone's wounds with such care, talking to someone in pain with such a gentle and tender voice, the calm, pleasant smile you were showing him… those were signs of affection… right?

William was a stranger to that feeling. The notion of love, affection, care, and the likes were unknown to him. Since he was a child the only things that he ever cared for were his trees, birds, Patri and his comrades. He always felt like he was the one in charge of protecting all those things, but he never got to experience someone else protecting him, keeping him safe, healing his pain, helping him when nobody was there for him. It was new, it was nice, it made him want for those feelings to always be there with him, because he too was human, and like any other, he wanted to feel loved and cared for. And here you were, unknowingly fulfilling his deepest desire.

“Turn around so I can clean your back too. And if something hurts don’t hesitate to tell me, alright?” you said, gently pushing him around. William hummed, complying with your request while feeling his cheeks burn at the tenderness you spoke with. He stayed in silence, listening to your soft breaths while also focusing on the feeling of the rug stroking his back. Then he heard how you dipped the rag into the water before rinsing his back, removing all the foam that was left on his back before moving on his hair.

William closed his eyes, a tired smile gracing his lips as you washed his hair, soft pads massaging his scalp and making sure that he was properly cleaned. He reopened them after a couple of minutes when you tapped his shoulder to gain his attention. He was still in a daze when turning around to look at you, and once again you were smiling at him, making his heart skip a beat.

“Get up, I have to dry you” he did as you said, and soon enough you were patting his body dry with a towel, applying light pressure on the edge of his wounds. 

“Listen, this will sound awkward, but you have to put on a new pair of underwear. Those are soaked, and you can’t sleep like that. Now, you can tell me where you keep your clothes, I’ll bring you the underwear, and then you can change.” You said, throwing the dirty clothes in the tub. You’d clean them later, now all you wanted was to treat his wounds and put him to sleep. “I’ll give you all the privacy you need, don’t worry” you added, flashing him another sweet smile.

William looked around the bathroom and tried to go and retrieve his night garments from his room, but his head spun, making his lose his balance, and quickly brought a hand up, resting it on the wall to avoid a nasty fall.

“I said I’ll bring it to you! Don’t be stubborn and let me help you!” you pleaded, promptly moving toward him and help him sit on a nearby surface. William mumbled something that you didn’t get, and it was clear that he was far too tired to form any coherent sentences, so you just went ahead and dug into his wardrobe. After a couple of minutes, you finally found them in the last drawer, and after also getting what looked like his nightwear (you hoped they were), you went back to him and put them on the free space near the sink.

You had said that he can change them by himself, but seeing how weak he was, and how he could barely stand on his own feet, it seemed that, again, you’ll have to do all the job.

“Alright,” you exhaled, hooping your finger under the elastic band of his underwear. You adverted your eyes up on the ceiling, praying to whatever God was assisting you, to not touch anything that wasn’t supposed to be touched. “Please, bear with me, it will be quick.” And just like that, you pulled them down in a swift motion. Moving quickly to grab the new pair, you found it slightly difficult to put them on, especially when you couldn't see how you were putting them, but William helped, turning them around in the right direction and successfully slid them on.

After making sure that he was covered, you looked through the cabinets, soon finding an antibiotic ointment to put on his wounds. After playing a thin layer on every single cut that was on his body, you wrapped some gauze around the bigger wounds, while covering the smaller ones with the band-aids you found into the same cabinet.

The whole process took you twenty minutes, and once you were sure that all the injuries were taken care of, you helped him putting his nightwear on. William had one hand placed on your shoulder, keeping him up-straight while you slid up his pants. Tiredness was ranging through his bones, and he found himself completely laying over you, and fortunately, you were able -albeit with a little bit of struggle- to bring him to his bed.

By now, William was asleep, while you were stretching your arms and back. You were tired, and after an entire day of work, taking care of a knight wasn’t something you had planned, but here you were, tucking the young man under the softness of the covers. Today, was by far your most tiring day of work, and you weren’t done yet.

Yes, the man was cleaned, injuries bandaged and now sleeping, but you still had to take care of the clothes. And damn, those bloodstains would be a hassle. You took one last look at the man, proudly smiling at all your work before disappearing into the bathroom.

✩:✩:✩

The next day, when William woke up, the first thing he noticed was the smell of cinnamon that was lingering around his room.

Opening his eyes, he looked around, taking notice of the steamy cup of tea, along with some sweets that were resting on the nightstand. They were steamy too, and he thought that maybe they were freshly baked and someone must have come to bring them to him.

The first person he thought of was you, and to his disappointment, he noticed that all his mind could make out was a blurred face. The only things he remembered were your voice, your touch, and your name. Under normal circumstances, he'd think that it was a dream, a beautiful one, but the gauze and band-aids were there, and also his uniform, that the night before was soaked in dirt and blood, was now neatly folded on his desk.

Today, aside from all the work he'll have to do, William will also try to find out who you were. Hopefully, you were a part of his brigade, and this will make it easier to find you. However, he knew almost everyone, and no one had, in particular, stood out to him. No one had remotely the same vocal timbre as yours, and he was pretty good at identifying people by their voices.

He rose from the bed, carefully taking the cup of tea with both hands, and brought it to his lips, taking a sip of the warm beverage. Then, he ate one brioche, humming at the sweetness. Both were good, and once again, he believed that you were the one that left them there. If his intuition was right, then he’ll have more reasons to get closer to you.

After finishing his breakfast, he got up and moved toward his desk. He started removing his nightwear, then, put on his uniform. He looked around, noticing that his helmet was nowhere to be found. A sheer of anxiousness passed through his body, fearing that he lost it, but quickly remembered that Klaus offered himself to repair it.

He quickly did his bed, and after taking one last look at his room, he finally left.

✩:✩:✩

“Yes? How can I help you?”

Well, this was not how William hoped you'd greet him. Yes, he was pretty much a stranger to you, but after you helped him last night he thought you'd be a little bit warmer toward him, but from the look of it, it seemed as if you saw him for the first time -which was slightly bothersome.

“You don’t… You don’t know who I am?” he asked. His voice cracked, for what reason he didn’t know, maybe out of disappointment? Probably.

"Uh yes? You're the captain of the Golden Dawns." You said, putting down the basket of bread on the counter. It was curious, and odd that a powerful higher-up would be there, down in the kitchen of the base. Usually, the knights never interacted with the staff, let alone come all the way there to talk to someone.

For a moment you thought that you offended him, mostly because he looked dejected. However, you did nothing but answer his question, so you understand why he was giving you those sad puppy eyes.

William was truly disappointed. Twenty-four hours haven’t passed, yet you already forgot about him?

“Didn’t you take care of… someone last night?”

“Oh, that! Yes. One of your knights was beaten up and I treated his wounds. Why? Did he sue me?" you asked, taking a knife, starting to cut the bread into perfect slices. All the other members of the staff were avoiding coming way too close to you, mostly because William was there and they assumed that you were in trouble. A couple of women also gasped when the word ‘sue’ left your lips, making you roll your eyes at their antics.

“No…” It suddenly struck to William that you probably didn’t recognize him, but why? You saw his face, and it should’ve been-

…. Face….

You saw his face. And now he was wearing his helmet. That could explain your reaction, but at least you should be remembering his voice, just like he remembered yours.

“Do you perhaps, recall how his voice sounded?” saying that you were confused was an understatement. The captain of the brigade you were cooking for was in front of you, asking weird questions and you didn’t know why.

“Hm, not really. I was the one doing most of the talk, and if he said something it was mostly gibberish. All I know is that he has a scar covering half of his face, and he's pretty cute too if that helps you in any way." You said, not even looking at him. You were far too focused on doing your job than actually paying attention to him, which again put William on edge. Last night he was the center of your attention, but now you weren't even sparing him a glance. It was truly frustrating.

But upon replaying your words into his head, he felt his cheeks burn, suddenly feeling all shy at your compliment.

“Can I know why are you asking me all of that? I mean-“ you started, moving the bread aside and taking the washed tomatoes and slicing them, “Is there any reason why you came all the way here to interrogate me about what happened last night? I’m pretty sure your subordinate already told you everything, so why come here?” You inquired, moving the slices on a large plate. You took another one, eyes never leaving the knife you were holding. Doing your work, while holding a conversation with someone, wasn’t an easy task. Most of the time you’d shoo away whoever dared to interrupt you, but sending away The Captain wasn’t something you were planning on doing anytime soon.

You liked your current job, and the pay was pretty high.

William shuffled on his feet, still frustrated about the lack of eye contact and how your focus was all on those damn tomatoes. He had to admit that you were cute when concentrated, but he wanted your attention to be on him and nothing else.

“I… I wanted to see you”

Well, now he had all your attention.

You stopped cutting the vegetables, abruptly stopping your current activity and replayed his words a couple of times, making sure that you were not hallucinating. A few gasps were heard from the back of the kitchen, but you disregarded them, now too focused on what that stranger was telling you.

Putting the knife down, you finally raised your head, blinking in bewilderment at him.

“What?”

William felt his cheeks grow warmer and warmer under your stare. His stomach was flipping, but in a good way, while his palms started sweating. He said nothing, just kept looking at you, nervously waiting for something. What exactly… he didn’t know, he was just… just waiting.

“Why? I don’t remember the two of us ever exchanging any words…” you said quietly. It baffled you how someone, you never talked to, could say something like that. What was really, really surprising, was that out of all the people in the country, William Vangeance was the one to say those words.

He smiled; fondness clear into his eyes as he looked at you. Even your confused expression was cute, and your reaction was also amusing.

“You took great care of me, and I wanted to thank you as soon as possible”

Now his presence, and the sudden approach, made sense. He was the same man you treated last night, and he must’ve remembered you. If only he came barefaced then you wouldn’t have made a fool out of yourself. Coming back to your senses, you too offered him a small smile, now more understanding of his actions.

“My, my~ I didn’t recognize you with the helmet. You feeling better now?” you asked, resuming your work, now cutting the cucumbers -much to William’s dismay. But at least, you were now talking to him with the same honey-like tone like you did hours ago, and it made him happy.

"Yes, I'm sure I was a bother to take care of, but I am grateful for all your help," he said, eyes never leaving your figure. He found himself liking watching you, it brought him a sense of peace and stability. And he hoped that the future would be as pleasant as you were.

"That was no problem at all! I had just finished my shift and I happened to run into you as I was leaving. Besides, I would've felt guilty leaving you there in such a state." You said, moving those slices on the same plate where the tomatoes were. It was interesting to you how he didn’t seem to want to leave, it almost felt as if he was planning on staying longer than you originally expected. It didn't necessarily bother you, but such a powerful presence could be quite distracting.

“I also thank you for the tea and brioches. They were both good”

“How did you know it was me?”

“No one has ever brought me breakfast, and knowing that you took care of me it seemed the only logical reasoning.”

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed them! I don’t know your preferences, so I settled for something simple”

“I’m not a picky eater, anything is fine with me.” And just like that, William ended up staying three full hours in there, talking about different things -whether they were important or trivial- while also watching you cook. For the first time, he refused to go and eat with the other members, preferring to stay in the kitchen and spend more time with you.

You had noticed how enthusiastic he was, and you wondered if he had always been like that. He was like a small child talking about his favorite toy, but in that case, he was talking about normal stuff, sometimes asking about you and your lifestyle. He seemed more interested in your life than anything else, which truly took you by surprise.

There was this social difference between the two of you, yet William seemed to completely ignore it. He was freely talking to you like he’d knew you for ages, and if in the beginning it was slightly uncomfortable, you had soon gotten used to it. He was a nice personality to be around, and differently from other knights, he was talking to you like an equal, never talking down to you. Overall, his presence ended up being a breath of fresh air into your usually boring working days.

✩:✩:✩

As months passed, William would always find a way to be with you, whether at work, during your breaks, and even before and after your shifts. He had insisted on getting you a room at the base, so it will be easier for you to get ready for work and you won’t have to wake up early to come there. Not only was it a win for you, but also for him. Having you living near his room was making it a lot easier for him to keep an eye on you. He could see who’d you talk to, where you’d be, and most importantly, spend quality time with you.

William had to insist for two whole days to convince to move into the spare room near his, but once it was done, he felt at ease knowing that you’d be somewhere safe and physically close to him. Before your moving in, he’d walk you home, and when you refused (telling him that he needed some rest) he would settle with quietly following you. He was just making sure that you’d get back home safe and sound.

He would sometimes follow you around like a lost puppy, and fortunately, it never seemed to bother you. When asked, you had said that his presence was calming, pleasant even, and never had you turned him down for a little chat -which greatly pleased him. Your relationship with William was more on the motherly side, mostly because with you he’d behave like a little enthusiastic child. However, when he wanted, he could be quite the prince charmer, making you feel in certain ways that were hard to describe. 

At first, you thought that he just wanted a close friend, and this was why he kept seeking your presence, but as time passed, his intentions seemed slightly different than what you initially thought of. There were times when he’d sneak into your room, seeking comfort. That would happen mostly at night, when he’s slid into your bed, in front of you and quietly demand for cuddles.

The first time it happened, it freaked you out. You got scared, and almost hit him, but when William softly spoke to you, you relaxed, letting out a curse under your breath before asking him why was he there. After he gave you no answer, you thought nothing of it and welcomed him into your arms, patting his head and lulling him to sleep. But that quickly became a habit.

Tonight, was no different. He was cuddling you from behind, warm breath hitting your exposed neck as he held you into his arms. Right now, he was quiet, and it somehow worried you. Usually, he'd ask about your day, or talk about trees, flowers, birds, anything. However, today you could feel that something was bothering him, and despite not knowing if he wanted to talk about it or not, you still asked what was wrong.

“I’ve been thinking…” he began, voice muffled against your skin. He sounded troubled, he himself not knowing if it was alright to voice his thoughts. He wasn’t necessarily fearing your reaction, or rejection -already knowing that you’d accept his feelings-, but it still didn’t help his nervousness. You wouldn’t turn him down, and he was sure of that, but the fear that you didn’t reciprocate his feelings was there.

"Let me guess, you want for the two of us to become a couple, officially," you said, a slight tone of amusement in your voice. William was taken aback, surprised at your straightforwardness.

“How did you-?”

"Well, you're not a good actor, that's for sure. Aside from that, we've been behaving like a couple for the past month, do you think I'm that blind or ignorant to not notice your feelings? And before you ask, yes, I like you too" you said, turning around to face him. Maybe, it was too soon to say that you were in love with him, but the attraction was there. Also, you did like being into his arms, it was comforting and pleasant and gave you a sense of balance into your life. He was always there for you, and even if sometimes he would be a little bit too much -like that time he got upset because you were talking with someone else, or when you’d hang out with your friends for longer than usual-, it never troubled you.  His light jealousy was probably the only flaw he had, but again, it wasn’t that bad.

A smile soon bloomed on his face, relieved at your answer. Then, you pulled out a little piece of paper from under the pillow, and he found himself confused. You were holding it in front of his eyes, and to his dismay, it was something you were not supposed to see, hence, blood rushed to his face after concluding that it was his.

“Also, you need to learn to hide your stuff somewhere not in plain view. You know that I clean your room, and leaving this piece of paper, with my name followed by your last one with a bunch of hearts, on the desk… what are you? Twelve~?” you teased, swinging the paper right under his nose.

He felt his cheeks getting warmer and warmer, embarrassment flooding through his body at being caught due to his inattentiveness. That little paper was never meant to be seen, especially by you. He wrote that when he was daydreaming, and when he took a hold of himself it was already too late, and throwing it was not something he was willing to do.

William cleared his voice, tightening his hold on you.

“It does have a nice ring to it” he mumbled under his breath, and luckily for him, you didn’t quite catch that, since he spoke so softly and low.

“What?”

“Nothing”

For some moments there was quietness, William stood in that position, trying to cool off his cheeks while burying his nose into your hair, inhaling the sweet scent he grew addicted. As minutes passed, he was growing tired, and with your soft breaths that were lulling him, he closed his eyes, ready to finally sleep.

“Hey, William”

"Hm?" before he could process what was happening, you grabbed the collar of his nightshirt and pulled him into a light kiss. He briefly widened his eyes at the sudden contact, but quickly closed them, fully enjoying the feeling. His heartbeats quickened; this was his first kiss and he wanted to enjoy it at his fullest. It was soft, and better than he imagined. 

When you pulled away, he went in for another one, then for another one again. Needless to say, that was by far the best night of his life, and he wanted for it to stay just like that; he and you together, closer, sharing each-others love through lingering kisses. Yup, William was definitely growing addicted to you and your love.

✩:✩:✩

A/n: So… I changed (and added) some things about the request and I hope it’s alright, otherwise please tell me and I will make another one!

Now, I want to explain what’s going on in this shot. First off, this babe was abused the entirety of his childhood, he never got to experience love as a child (we all know that), and now he’s a grown-up man, and something makes me think that he still has little to no clue on how love works. In this shot, he gets obsessed with the person that showed him an ounce of care (which I think could happen), he mistakes this obsession (interest for the one that cared for him) with love, hence the Yandere-ish theme and insta-romance I put in the warnings.

William strikes me as the guy that, despite being a grown-ass man, has an inner childish personality that he wants to hide (and here I put the little space warning), which comes out when you take care of him. I also think he is quite possessive of who is meant to be with him, and the fact that you were the first person to care for him, made him develop that feeling. William is portrayed as a gentle character, with good intentions that cares for those close to him, but to be honest, with such messed up childhood and the amount of abuse he suffered, I don’t think he’s mentally stable, and that’s why I wrote him slightly stalker-ish, obsessive and possessive.

The Yandere thing, along with the little space, were subjects that I briefly touched, in fact, I just lightly mentioned them in the shot; I didn’t go into details, or deeper, because then I’ll have to lengthen the shot (or make multiple chapters) the word count for this one is past 5k, and It’s already pretty long. Even if I didn't give too many details about Yandere behavior, and/or showed more about the little space thing, I put the tags anyway, because again, they are mentioned in the shot.

P.s: For those who don’t know, the definition of little space is the act of regressing into a childlike state; such as a baby, toddler, or child. (source: Urban dictionary)

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one-shot and thank you for requesting!

✩:✩:✩

Masterlist

[mind-of-a-hardstan]

i’m curious; what are some of your fav fics for each member? - comet ☄️

Ohhh I like doing stuff like this. Just a little warning though, most of ‘em are probably going to be some older fics because I sadly haven’t been reading as much as I would like to and another warning is this list is probably going to be very long. Let’s get to it then :D 

Kim Namjoon

Partners by @btssmutgalore is probably my ultimate all time favourite Namjoon fic on this site. I love the way the plot moves in a non-rushed way and I absolutely LOVE how the characters are written. Who doesn’t love a shy, nerdy Joonie bean? 

Five Months by @ellieljade is a fic that I’ve read when I’ve just started on this site and it just stuck with me for some reason. The smut was *chef’s kiss* and then you pair that with bits and pieces of slipped up emotion and clear affection and you have a perfect fucking fanfic. It’s a total 180 of Partners because this one features dom Joonie with a dirty mouth ;) 

Love Bytes by @stutterfly. Clumsy cute English professor Namjoonie silently pining while all of the other guys just won’t stop MEDDLING. Seriously I love how the relationship between Y/n and the boys were written and I love the interaction between Joon and Y/n even more. 

Kim Seokjin

Candlyland by @honeymoonjin. I read this one a few days ago and LET ME TELL YOU it was fucking phenomenal. The plotline was amazing, the story itself was so creative and unique and I love how there were subtle hints to what was going on and then the BIG REVEAL in the end where you just went “how did i miss that?” And the cute relationship between Jinnie and Y/n, clearly a devoted married couple. Not to mention cute lil elf-babie bean Koo. Probably my new fav Jin fic hands down. 

My Type by @floralseokjin. Listen, every Jin fic by her is top notch, but I think this one is my favourite because it was so soft but the smut was impeccable. It features nerdy, virgin Jinnie, which was something that I haven’t seen in a Jin fic before tbh? Very sweet and cute and a favourite since I read it. 

Min Yoongi

Upgrade by @gukgalore is the ultimate Yoongi smut fic. I mean it. 

Empress by @honeymoonjin. This fic was downright GENIUS. I’ve never seen the likes of it before and it left me wanting more, goddamnit. Empress Yoonji is a fucking experience and I’m 110% sure y/n thought the same. 

Jung Hoseok 

In The Car by @floralseokjin​ is another masterpiece. Mechanic Hoseok is a fucking concept. Mechanic Hoseok who also races and is funny and HAS A MANBUN I REPEAT HE HAS A MANBUN. Yeah needless to say this fic had me on the floor. Bonus: they fuck on the hood of his car  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Park Jimin 

Sin City by @btssmutgalore should be read. By every single person. On this site. I fucking MEAN IT. 

Kim Taehyung 

Nude by @btssmutgalore was just really really cute and still smutty. I like the whole internal conflict going on and how it slowly progresses from “I done fucked up” to “eh, screw it I deserve to be happy” yaknow? 

How to Get a Girl Off 101 by @imagination-of-a-melted-bitch was a fic I read before my writing blog even existed and screw it i still love it. It features y/n and her bf Taehyung who agrees to teach clueless Jeongguk how to fuck, honestly I low key love this concept. 

Jeon Jeongguk 

For Science by @boymeetsweevil​ was… quite the fucking experience let me tell you. I binged it in a day and then reread it the next day because I felt like I needed more. It was a shitstorm of pining, hot smut, angst and just Kook being generally bad at feelings. It features the whole gang being nerdy, weird and generally funny. A fantastic read, honestly. 

Switch Lanes by @gukgalore​ was the fic that lead me to her account in the first place. I’m a sucker for healthy relationships being built on trust and friendships and then lead to lots o’ fluff and soft smut so if you are a sucker for that too then feast. 

Monster by @btssmutgalore​ was also something I started reading before my writing account even existed and I’m still foaming at the mouth over it. Seriously Dee just has a certain way of stringing words together in a way that leaves you having to physically restrain yourself from reading for 3 days straight. (I speak from experience, I’m pretty sure my mom thought I was dead when I discovered her masterlist). Monster is no exception. 

I’m going to be a bit cocky and put one of my own fics here too, because it’s my favourite fic that I’ve written and I’m very proud of it, so don’t judge me. Purple Mist & Candlelight is a Joonie witch au that features potion maker Joonie and a subtly pining y/n. I think it’s pretty good. 

Now, I also read fics on AO3 that are mostly shipfics, and I’ll be adding them too because leaving them out would be a crime because they’re some of my favourites, so here goes: 

Heard Them Talk by themarmalade is a fucking masterpiece. It features marten hybrid Joonie and bad boy, rugby player Jeongguk who is actually just a sof boi with a bunny daemon. I cannot even begin to explain the absolute adoration that I have for this fic. Dare I even say it is my ultimate favourite? (namkook)

Got a kiss (with your name on it) by marienadine is another favourite. Roommates Kookie and Tae are pining after each other and feelings come tumbling out when Kook asks Tae to teach him to kiss. The discriptions in this fanfic is impeccable and THIS is the level of writing I want to reach one day. It’s the perfect balance of funny and feelings and the way it’s written is what sets it apart from other fics. It’s truly a masterpiece. (taekook)

Worldwide Lonesome by loindexter is a fic that I read the other day that features closeted bisexual Seokjinnie who doesn’t know how to deal with anything, bi, Yoongi who’s trying desperately to make a change, and somewhere along the lines they fall in love. It’s fluffy and angsty and I cried my heart out at some point. And then I cried my heart out at the end too. If you read this and you see the words “I heard you” in chapter 6, yeah that’s about where I fucking lost it and cried for like a year. (yoonjin)

Found you by Oh_Hey_Tae is a namjin witch au that just… it was so sweet? Joonie is a sad witch who finds lost things and Jinnie is a seer and it’s all just very sweet and sad a beautiful. (namjin)

Bunny Ears by goldenhearts was the CUTEST. Kookie drinks a faulty potion and spontaneously turns into a bunny every now and then. He has no choice but to go to his rival for help and most fluff I’ve ever read ensues. It’s the cutest, bestest, funniest fic I’ve read, Jinnie is unsufferable, Kookie even more so, and I loved every second of it. (jinkook)

Is It Me You’re Looking For? by MoonlitMemories was also such a good fic. I felt for Kook and I just wanted to hug him throughout the fic and Joonie is damn idiot but it’s sort of understandable and it was heart wrenching and perfect and beautiful and such a cute but sad twist on the usual soulmate au (namkook)

And I’m going to stop there because the post is getting too long. These are a few of my favourite things, most of ‘em are smut but not all. They’re all very good and written by amazing authors so enjoy!

[water--gang]

for now they are close here too!! I mean I can wait but you absolutely have to get your first one as soon as possible :') the choice of the studio is super important!! you have to make sure the tattoo artist has a style similar to the one you like and that they make you feel comfortable!! so think carefully <33

ooh sweetie it's totally fine to be scared!! but I don't think that I have a high pain tolerance either and I really felt nothing sjkghl (of course it's different for everyone!) and AAAH i wanted to ask you what are you gonna get!!(so please feel free to share all the tattoos you have in mind🤧) I'm so happy you're just as curious about tattoos as me lol okay so I have just 3 tattoos and they are all pretty small! the letter J (the initial of my brother), the word 'hesperus' from a poem I really like and the latin quote 'hic et nunc' (my favourite one so far but that's another story for another time fellas)

i don't actually know if they're closed here. I'm planning to message to one studio tomorrow to ask if they are open haha i don't really know... how to choose because I'm looking at everything online sjxnjs and the style... well. i have my own design and it's very very simple so i think any tattoo artist can do that? they have a couple people working in the studio, i looked thru the profiles on their site and based solely on that i liked this one lady. i also saw one of the tattoos she's done is like... just lines and not some intricate picture so yeaaa i prolly wanna go with her!

oooh those sound really nice! mine are a biT biGgEr ahhaha.

ahhhh I've loved tattoos for so long man, i can't wait to get my first one uwuwu

hmm well this first one is gonna be on my forearm, now i don't remember if that's where the pain is worst or okay sjdnjs I've looked at some many pain maps but i still don't remember smh

I'll put the tattoos under the line so people don't have to scroll so much to skip this djxndn

aight so

firstly. the one i wanna get first! also the first tattoo i came up with hehe i have pictures for like... 5/6 of them. i drew all of them on myself so they look scuffed but they'll give you the general idea yaknow

i drew this on myself like 2/3 years back. i included the second picture just cause i think it looks cool but yea the first one is the version I want. for now hehe i actually have plans for modifications i could get for this one :))

i also have recent pictures from like idk 5 days back but they include two more tattoos as well so I'll keep em for later

secondly. my finger tattoo! probably the second or third one I want to get. i say or third because I might get a matching tattoo with my best friend first. anyway here starts the theme of stars that carries over a couple of the tattoos sjdjjs

tiny and simple. but i love it! i love the stars and the moon which is why I want to have this one uwu also i love finger tattoos and this is the best I came up with jsnxn

this brings us to another one which i actually want to get at the same time as the finger one because it's gonna be on like... the thumb? it's a symbol! here I'll give a picture if the symbol only and later on I'll give pictures with it on the thumb. cause those are the ones that include the first one as well haha

these are on the left hand btw

moving on to the next one. this one is a text tattoo! a lyric tattoo if you call it that. from my favorite song uwu it will be on the right handy thumb to wrist area. i tried writing it on myself but I'm right-handed so you can see how that would go awfully sjdnns

so yea excuse the awful writing please sjnxns if you can't decipher it, it says Step out of them Voices. placed somewhere around that area, it was hard to really choose properly since I was writing with my left hand sjdnns

next up. a small one behind my ear. a lil star! yes. i love stars a lot sjxns was thinking i could get this one sometime without anyone knowing and waiting till someone notices it sjxnd i told have a picture for this one cause... yea it's behind the ear. or like you know somewhere behind there cause i just think those are cool

last but not least. the chest one! it's not like a big complex piece tho. just a sun and some stars. because. once again, i love stars sndnd and just the sky in general you know. I'm in love with the sky uwuwu which is why I have so many pictures of it on my phone from when I go on walks ahahhah

and here we have it. please excuse my awful skin jsndjd i don't expect to get all these tattoos anytime soon because of the price so I'm hoping my skin gets sorted till then you know xjdj

also apologies for how scuffed it looks jsnxnd ngl drawing on your chest is vErY hard. i drew the sun off of a reference i found but i was honestly rushing thru it cause it was... just difficult and i knew i wouldn't get it right anyway sjdnd

the placement isn't gonna be 100% like that cause once again, i drew it on myself sjxnd i want the sun on my sternum, I'd love to explain the exact place but uhh... i can't sjdjd and yea i want the eight stars around it. most likely more spaced out because I feel like this is... too close together, it would look better further away from each other. and the place for them would be like under my collarbones?? cause collarbones hurt a lot right?? ehh well I'll just have to handle it somehow. but yea! that's my six planned tattoos ahahha

now for the whole left arm. aka the three tattoos in one pictures

sorry about the even more scuffed sketch of the first tattoo jsbdns i did that during class cause I was bored and wasn't exactly trying to be precise ahhaha

but yea that's how my left arm should look after I get all of these uwu

andddd here are my plans for adding onto the first tattoo

in this picture the three lines just go all around BUT my plan isss... i want the lines to come together and intertwine on the other side of my forearm, i want them to come to one point where they're like knotted up andddd i want a flower to like rise from that point, i want it to go down to my hand, with it's end on my wrist probably, don't want to it to go all the way on the hand.

i have no idea if that was understandable enough. i suck at explaining sjdjsn but i think it would be pretty??? and i think it goes with the theme i gave it in my head pretty well

so... yea

those are my tattoo plans ahhaha i love talking about tattoos sjdjjs

sorry about the long ass post

— admin

[ventisfy]

a long story to vent my happy emotions because i never get to do that, and that’s the whole reason i made this account

not to be gay on the main or anything but like, i’m feeling SO loved in the most platonic way possible. and so because of that i will now write the reason why because i’m feeling oddly energized

so a couple posts back i talked about how a friend of mine gave me a piggyback ride and i felt like my soul ascended or something like that n stuff

and i get headaches real easy, long story short: had a condition that fucked a little w/ the brain n shit that caused me to get headaches among other things -> condition was fixed -> but doctors where i’m at s u c k so shit went down and i still get headaches just not caused by the condition

and i don’t tell anyone that because i don’t like to drop my drama down on ppl cause i’m insecure and yaknow the works

but being in the dark definitely helps, so in p.e we were just walking around the basketball court and i started to get a headache, so i take my glasses off and cover my eyes, not all the way just enough to where i could to see the floor so i can still walk around

of course my friend gets confused and they ask me what the hell i was doing, and i told them that i get headaches and the convo ended there. and they go on to talk about going to the doctors because they was on the swim team at our school and i mention that the last time i went to the doctors was in february 2019, november 2018, and before was years ago, most likely when i had to gets shots so i could enter 7th grade

 and so they were curious bout why and so i told them the whole story about my condition, getting surgery, sucky doctors, and everything

well, i told they as much as i could cause we had to go back to the locker rooms cause class was ending, but after they like gave me their mom’s number just so if i ever get a headache and need to get out of the house that i could totally call their mom and let me come over 

but that’s not the cause of this story

they’re a freshman and i’m a sophomore so the only class we had together was p.e, but since corona schools been cancelled for the rest of the year when we get to school i’ll be a junior and he a sophomore and we wouldn’t have any classes which is a big a sad

but they texted me that they’d be willing/prepared to ditch class for me if i ever get a bad headache and that if i text for something they’d do it no hesitation and i damn near started crying

man i’m almost crying again just recalling it

it’s just 

there’s this feeling in my chest that i can’t explain because it’s so 

i hardly get such blunt care for my well being 

it throws me off my game man that shit energized me 

sorry not sorry for such a messy story but i needed to let out some energy lmao

[katestinyliving]

I have been so behind on creating this post. This past week has been so hard for me for multiple reasons. None of which I’m specifically comfortable going on a public level about so for the sake of privacy and sanity, I’m keeping it private. I’ve had a lot of highs and a lot of lows. A lot of “talk downs” from Tristan, my parents, and Asa.  It’s so dangerously close to Christmas, and I’ve been overwhelmed by to-do lists, anxiety, and fear.

Needless to say, crying is my new thing. Waterproof mascara is my beauty essential. I don’t think there’s a foundation in the world created to withstand the floodgate that is attached to my face, so I don’t even try. 

I’ve been afraid of not getting my to-do list done by a deadline. Which is a big one for me. I am a planner. I like lists. I like checking things off and moving forward. But to be honest and 100% transparent I’ve had fear of not making enough money to be able to afford finishing the house or being able to afford a wedding… Etc. And by wedding, I’m not meaning some elaborate thing. I want simple. I want stress free. Anything flashy, showy, or that REMOTELY sounds like it could cause me any stress or drama is out. I don’t want it. And all of that goes for my house too. I just want zero drama.

And in reality I know the money is there. I know it will come. I’ve been diligent, praying, and asking for God to send me work and to help me recognize the opportunities He brings my way and to have wisdom with those opportunities. And He does. I know God provides because He has been providing for me every step of the way. I could tell you THOUSANDS of wild stories where God’s provided for me. But all of that is easier said than believed when you’re going through the thick of it and you’re hearing all these voices of discouragement in your head saying, “It ain’t gonna happen. How’s this gonna happen? You’re gonna finish your house, and get married within 5 months? HA!”

Isn’t it wild how God can do amazing things for us, and then when stress hits again, in that moment we sometimes totally forget how amazing and capable He is? Or is it just me? Cause I lose my mind and turn into an blubbering idiot, almost every time it feels like.

This does not mean I am labeled a doubter. This does not mean I don’t trust Him. This does mean I am human. This does mean I have struggles. This does mean I am learning and growing. And this does mean I am a child of the King.

Even Jesus himself in the garden of Gethsemane struggled! God himself in the form of man wept and had so much agony from stress, he sweat BLOOD. Jesus Christ experienced hematidrosis while praying in the garden of Gethsemane before his crucification. That is insane.

“And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” Luke 22:44

So I think if anyone understands my humanity, the battle of overcoming it, and needing help from the Father, it would be Jesus.

When you walk through the fire with Him… stuff gets real. FAST. And any honest, true believer, devoted, loving Christian worth their salt will tell you that it’s not all peaches and cream walking with Jesus. There’s a whole lot of humility, fear, and worry with learning to trust God. Even when He’s done miraculous things in the past, and you KNOW He will be right there with you through the fire again… It’s hard. And because it’s hard, doesn’t make you any more or less of a Christian. It just means where your at is hard. It’s growing pains. The process is hard. The journey is hard and it’s harder when you don’t include Jesus in your journey, or when you forget that He wants to be included in your journey. So we have to constantly invite Him into our situations and say, “Okay God. I’m here. Here is this thing. Help me to surrender. Help me to learn and to trust You during this time. It sucks and I hate it, but here’s where I’m at with it. Help me.”  

But anyways, I’m getting off topic. I never started this post with the intention of getting that deep into my personal walk with Christ or being that transparent about it.

Maybe I will make a blog post going in-depth about it and about all the drama I have going on in my head, but I really want to get to the details of Construction Saturday.

Anywayssss… 

This post is about last week’s Construction Saturday. Last Saturday I woke up to Daddy revving a chainsaw outside of my window getting ready to cut a tree down. This tree has been looking crazy dangerous and shady now for years, and we were all starting to get paranoid it was going to fall on someone’s vehicle(especially Asa’s), so the day finally came for it to come down.

Asa couldn’t be there that morning because he’s been having to work Saturdays lately. Which is sad, because I miss him terribly and it’s something I’ve been trying hard to gracefully adjust to. Plus it’s difficult because he’s genuinely a God-send when it comes to construction. I’m insanely proud of him. His long arms, strength, persistence, level-head, and height seriously helps SO much on construction days. And he has a calming presence for me, and I need that because I’m everything but calm. Plus he’s really good at following instructions, which is a trait I feel like is in short supply these days.

But instead of going all out on the house first thing that morning, Tony, Mama, and I decided to help Daddy clear the driveway. Which I enjoyed a lot. It was fun working as a team doing something different. And then afterwards, to my surprise, Daddy stayed that Saturday and helped us build the house. He’s usually doing ministry work or running his business, so it’s a lucky day when he can help me work on my house. Which was a God-send because he’s incredible at building things and the more fellas around with the muscle and the know-how, the better.

One thing that I think I really underestimated when I said I wanted to build my house was my own muscle strength.

I am not very strong in the arms. I’m not exactly weak, but it is not as easy for me to lift things like I thought it would be. If this house teaches me anything at all, I think it’s that: I need help. A lot of help. I CAN NOT do this by myself.

And that’s okay. That’s where the true blessing comes in. That’s where true love comes in.

I’m thankful for my crew and for everyone that has helped me with this house. We’re not out of the woods with it yet, but we are getting closer every time we work together. And everyday, despite whatever crippling emotion I’m having at the time from all the stress, I know God’s in it. I know He’s teaching me. I know it’s gonna work out. It might not be my timing, but it will be His and that’s all that matters.

Be sure to hover over my photos or click on them. I’m gonna add some captions so you know what is going on. And if you’re curious about my photography at all you can follow me here, and here, and look here at my website.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful season of Christmas despite whatever stressful circumstances you may be facing right now. Jesus loves you. I love you. We care about you and I am praying for you. Whomever you are reading this, you matter to me and I am praying for you.

Merry Christmas.

-Katie

  This is right after the tree was cut down. Tony is inspecting it, while Daddy is cutting it up into movable pieces.

Tony always brings some kind of dessert to every event. He’s gonna make me fat, and I’m trying to get married. This is not the ideal situation, but it is a tasty one.

Close up of Daddy.

Cool angles. Yaknow. All about them angles.

This is Tony and Daddy making the best of the scrap pieces I had left over for the siding. Our goal was to trim out the windows and put siding on the windows.

I think you know what’s happening here.

Another angle of Daddy and Tony.

Man and his chainsaw. He cut up at least two other big old bushes that day. Daddy says it a dangerous time when a man buys a new chainsaw. Everything gets cut. This chainsaw isn’t new though, but I think the point is still there.

Biscuits Mama made for us! She keeps me going strong and happy. I love her so so so much!

Chalk line to keep things square!

Mama with a fancy dewalt finishing nailer. Us Weeks girls know about our tools and how to use them. I’m thankful for a Mama that has never let fear hold her back, as far as I know. Which has helped me and Tristan tremendously in having that “I can do anything I put my mind to” attitude. And forget about the whole gender thing. My whole life I knew I was just as good as a guy, thanks to my parents. When your born with no brothers, chores have no gender role. It’s “Girls! Do this. Do that!” Haha!

Daddy seeing if this piece of scrap will be long enough to cover the window.

Tony and Mama figuring out the measurements for the first window.

First window trim, done!

Holding the tape for Daddy.

Tony measuring to see the length of the glass I need to order for my stained glass Moon Phase window that Reflecting Light Stained Glass Studios will be making for me. I love custom pieces! https://www.reflectinglightstainedglass.com

Second window trimmed and finished!

Miter saws make life 100% more efficient and easier.

Third window finished! This is also my favorite window.

Mama working on taking apart the temporary table we made for the miter saw.

Wider angle, so you can see more of the house.

p.s. Please know that if someone else had the camera this day you would have seen me telling Tony to get off the ladder many times. Haha! I love him. He’s a crazy hard worker! I’m proud of my friend and could not have dreamed of a better person to learn from. Tony is a God-send. 100%!

12.16.17 | Tiny House Construction Saturday I have been so behind on creating this post. This past week has been so hard for me for multiple reasons.

[icharchivist]

Kanda and Lavi were the most antagonistic to Link back then. We already have Kanda and Link talking it out with Kanda seeing through Link like glass and threatening to kill him if he harms Allen. Link himself manages to prove he has some hope for Allen. At least enough for Kanda to let him go, for now (on that record, Kanda caring enough to not tell Allen Link alive but against him gives me complicated feelings. Oh Kanda letting Link's image remain untarnished for Allen's sake). I'm very -

2 if Lavi and Link will interact any as well? I'd be curious what they'd have to say to each other as both watchers of Allen/14th. Also with how their own duties might conflict with their feelings for Allen (Lavi at least has the higher ground of being more aware of himself and the choices he makes. Maybe they'd notice how much they are foils to each other?).

Aaah yees

tbh i love the development of specifically the Kanda/Link feud because ye, if at first it might just have been some... reject bc Link is a loyal member of the Order and a Crow and then friendly with people from the Third Exorcist Program (which. For Kanda, unwilling Second Exorcist Type, who had suffered from the Order and had bad experience with Crows.... This is like a Combo of how to have him on his bad side), then turning even sourer when Kanda gets officially on Allen’s side and sees right through Link’s attitude.

And it’s interesting that he can pick up what makes Link conflicted but still put Allen’s best interest first. Honestly no one can expect Allen’s reaction to learning Link is alive, and maybe it’s better to “not disturb his current statusquo” when it can be avoided, at least for the time of.. stabilizing him. (and I mean that’s a point, considering when Kanda came back from this encounter he met up with Nea instead of Allen when he came back. Which also seems like a good reason to not bring up “also that guy? alive. But against you so yaknow.”).

So i’m kinda curious how that might evolve would Link spend more time in the plot as well, especially since Link is supposed to protect the 14th and disappear when Allen takes over, while Kanda is there for Allen and will threaten Nea into hiding and kill him if not possible to get back to Allen. As long as Link keeps a low status (even more so since while his duty is to protect the 14th he does rather have Allen safe), we might just wait and see, but that conflict is just there ready to blow up. 

As for Lavi and Link while they thematically foil each other it is really to wonder if they would notice. If any would, I think it’d be Lavi first? first bc we didn’t see much of Lavi/Link since Link really developped an attachement to Allen and his duty got more complex than just watch for Central, so Lavi might notice the shift and think about “oh boy him too?”. And because Link remains more conflicted on his bias I think? Because Link is directly still in a situation with a conflict, for Lavi as long as he isn’t going to become a Bookman he could... ignore this conflict. 

Like idk, Link seems aware of his conflict but is still too tied to his duty to confront it, and his duty foil this conflict far far more. Lavi is aware of his conflict, he had addressed it in some more extreme way with his fight with Road, but as long as he can distach his conflict from his duty he has a upper hand of “well that’s here. And that’s a problem for future me.”. Link is like “It’s a present me problem and I don’t know what the hell to do.”

But I don’t know how they might bring it up next to each other. Like if they notice it... I mean we know how they feel about each others’s being watcher (Lavi disliking Link in general, Link keeping distance from Lavi when he can) but not how they would feel about their mutual appreciation of Allen. Maybe a begrundged admission that they are more alike than expected, or them being quite annoyed by it to start with

I guess it will also depend of how we’ll get Lavi back. If Lavi process the idea well, if the tortures made him reject Nea even more and get pissed at Link without knowing his conflict, who knows... I guess it’s still too much to wonder about? Kinda could see Lavi take badly that some side would encourage Nea to take over. But considering Link’s reasons (as in, it’s not his choice, and he’s conflicted) this could bring for more interesting conflict between the two of them. 

It kinda makes me realize that we’re kinda having all of those three (four counting even Allen) who are having... Post- "possible rebirth” experience I mean. Link “died”, Allen is being taken over and almost erased and just survived that. Kanda was definitly changed by Alma’s death, if only because suddenly he didn’t have his longlife goal left anymore and he sorted out part of his trauma (and I think it was implied he could have died with Alma but decided still to come back to help Allen, since he owes him and all), And Lavi, with Bookman’s possible death and the trauma experience from the torture, might change a lot. Hell if Bookman dies, he will likely become “Bookman”, no more “Lavi”. So that count as it in a thematical way.

That might fuel the idea of the four of them getting even more focus in future arc if only because of that, but i might be overthinking it.

That said it does make me want Lavi/Kanda to have their possibilities to face Link’s conflict and eventually help him through (whenever it’s active help or just by exemple).  They could make an amazing team out of that.

but who knows... depends i guess.

Take care!

[permian-tropos]

All the symbols for the Controversial Shipping Asks for Star Wars. I'm just so goddamn curious

ALL OF THEM holy moly well thank you very much for being so curious! It seemed like I wouldn’t get any of them at all. But now I get to clear them all out in one go~!

this sure took a long time to write 

Ship that you have as an OTP:🌹

Gallirae. I have a blog about it. It’s called @gallirae​. It kinda deserves this spot.

They’re just endlessly fascinating to explore; I think they represent two polar opposites in terms of Imperial ideology and I think they’re both attractive personalities in their forms of villainy (I swoon over pragmatic, commanding warriors AND extravagant, spooky, self-absorbed pricks). I love exploring their psychologies, I love using all the cheesy-ass symbolism strewn about their storylines, I love making stupid jokes about them, I love imagining serious stories that help me express my own turbulent emotions and suffering, I love making them rethink their twisted worldviews. 

It’s very dark. Darkshipping is not everyone’s cup of tea, and often it’s not even mine. But this isn’t about pure perfect love. To me, it’s a ship about galaxies colliding and trying to devour each other.

Ship that you’re indifferent to:😑

Galennic. I actually have read a few galennic fics that I really enjoyed but what I enjoyed about them was the writing and not particularly the characters. I was more charmed by the interviews the actors did together. I think Rogue One, overall, didn’t steal my heart the way it did for other people.

Also there’s the fact that I have no particular Thrawn ship at the moment? I know he’s an incredibly sexy dude but I haven’t found any ships with him that get me really excited. But then again, I haven’t bought the Thrawn book yet, so I feel my Thrawn experience is incomplete.     

Ship that makes you sad:💔

Obitine! I didn’t expect to like a seemingly shoehorned in love interest as much as I did – the moment I watched those Clone Wars episodes I was like dang I can get behind this. Satine was just so well-characterized in such a short span of time. But I had already been spoiled about what happens so it automatically made me sad.

In the same vein, Obikin and Obianidala, which I also like very much. All sad. Poor Obi-Wan. 

Ship that you find disgusting:💩

‘Disgusting’ is a strong word. I suppose, even though I don’t begrudge anyone who enjoys this, I dislike Hux being depicted as some kind of superslut who got his position by sleeping with older officers. The only actual ships for that I’ve seen are Hux/Krennic or Hux/Tarkin if he’s transplanted into the Imperial era… If that’s your thing, I don’t think you’re disgusting though. Just not my cup of tea.

Ship that you find cute but don’t ship:✌

Any of the Luke mlm ships, like Luke/Wedge, Luke/Biggs, Luke/Lando… I don’t feel particularly invested in them as much as I just like the idea of Gay Luke (or ace Luke!). (True Luke OTP: Luke/Bigger Luke)

Ship that you secretly like:💚

Grand Inquisitor/Maketh Tua: @pileofsith​ all ur fault, I never considered this while watching Rebels but now I think it’s pretty damn charming

Ship that you used to have as an OTP:💙

Kylux: it absolutely used to be an OTP but I just ran out of steam with it, and there were a lot of ways I felt alienated from the larger fandom. 

Ship that you find most sexy:👅

fuckin👌  galliraedea👌  man👌  like I suppose three people means more… combinations… for sexuality…? more butts yaknow and adding Adea into the ship kind of balances things out in terms of the tension (non-sexual, villainous) between Rax and Sloane. In a universe where she doesn’t have to choose between them, she can work well as a mediating presence while thoroughly enjoying her dream threesome. It can be a little more indulgent. Unfortunately I haven’t actually done much with the ship yet. who wants to read my flailing attempts at porn this isn’t a rhetorical question

Ship that you can never see happening:👎

Reylo: I feel like I almost slipped down the reylo path after I watched TFA. I understood the appeal. I’ve also met some reylos who make the ship really tempting! But at the same time I understand the people who are so uncomfortable with it. It seems so unlike Star Wars to depict that kind of forbidden love thing, since it won’t go over well with a lot of its audience. While I don’t think there’s anything wrong with shipping it at the moment, I personally can’t imagine it happening. (I’m taking this question to mean “what do I think won’t be canon” because I have to answer other questions about ships I don’t like, and this doesn’t really fit that category.)

Ship that is canon but you don’t ship:💤

Brendol Hux/Chuck Wendig’s characterization

Ship that is unpopular but you still like:💘

I’ve started reading some of the Star Wars comics and I admit I’m a little interested in Vadaphra, which might be unpopular to people who prefer Aphra as exclusively interested in women. But I don’t really favor that ship over other ones with Aphra, like Aphra/Sana, and Aphra/that Imperial lady she spares because she’s hot (I haven’t gotten to that comic yet but tbh I kinda feel like I’d be super down for a ship like that lmao). 

Ship that is taboo:💦

Brendol/Kitchen Woman counts right?? Adultery is taboo, kinda? Listen. I know we know next to nothing about canon Kitchen Woman and that’s not even who I’m talking about here you all know it’s my goddamn OC lord I just want evil couple Hux parents and I’ll fight all the canon I have to for that, also who wouldn’t want a ship where the aesthetic is like scary ocean things… and I probably wouldn’t ship this as much as I do if it weren’t for my RPs with @honeypothux​ turning what was going to be a pragmatic villain ship into a genuinely moving story of love and tragedy like you had to be there 

Ship that pisses you off:💣

It kinda pisses me off when people (only a few people, in passing) interpret Sloane’s affection for Adea as romantic (like “oh that stuff about daughters is just sapphic subtext”) but then don’t have any interest in exploring Adea’s perspective or motivations. Or acting like the age and power gap between Sloane and Adea isn’t just as complicating and problematic as it is between Rax and Adea. 

The fact that I called the three of them together the sexiest ship proves that I don’t think it’s too problematic to explore. My issue is just when people act like Adea simply belonged to Sloane by default, and was ‘stolen’, because that’s just how Sloane felt. And this was kind of a failing of hers.

Ship you’re curious about:👀

Reysma if it turns out that Phasma really is from Jakku because that’d be a pretty interesting connection between them and could lead into some awesome content.

Ship that needs more love:💖

Gallirae listen I didn’t sell my soul to this ship to be adrift in such a lonely sea but at the same time I’m not ungrateful for the little community we do have because it’s awesome, everyone is A+ and great & I love

Ship that is most misunderstood:💢

Kalluzeb: I only mildly ship it in the sense that I enjoy spectating the fandom, and am interested in seeing their interactions in the coming season of Rebels, but boy is there a lot of virulent discourse from antis… I won’t disparage anyone who finds it uncomfortable but you can’t act like you have a right to accuse people of the most hateful ideologies over this.

[big-waifu]

HELLO WELCOME TO BIGWAIFU’S BAD ART BLOG.  I AM BIGWAIFU.

This is a collection of all of my sketchbook artwork in the best possible chronological order I can remember.  I have been drawing in these books for over 15 years, which is more than half of my life so far, and if I have anything even resembling an artistic legacy, this would be it.

I am BigWaifu.  I am a little known illustrator who went through art school as a sculptor and even now while I work as a studio assistant as my 9 to 5, I still make time in my life to draw comics.  I am not going to share this comic here, because to show off my current work here would undercut the point of this entire blog, being a collection of my oldest work.  If you are super curious, I guess you could ask me really nicely.

My sketchbook was never something I liked to show off.  I’ve always been somewhat of a messy sketcher, and I was always more focused on the finished and polished works to show off.  Nowadays, I have been more interested in showing off work that would intrigue less skilled or less confident artists to get them motivated to draw.  Sort of like a “man I could do better, and yet this guy kept going” effect, yaknow?  

I believe that creativity should belong to everybody regardless of their skill or experience.  It’s fun to draw, and I think everyone should get to enjoy the thrill of creation without having to feel like their work isn’t good enough.  For a long time, I thought that by being an artist capable of creating brilliantly detailed and beautiful works, or by being successful or living off of my art, I could be such an inspiration, but at the same time, I think people seeing those works out of context might have them create the mistaken idea that I was always very talented at art, and feel like they could never reach that plateau of skill.

Fortunately, I don’t think I’m really capable of creating something breathtaking yet, but it got me to thinking...why don’t I show everyone where I started drawing instead of always focusing on where I am now?  Art was not my thing growing up, even though I loved doing it!  I had a hard time learning the core concepts that make for strong fundamentals, and have basically spent my whole life drawing feeling like I’m always having to climb over a roadblock.  I was so frustrated because I just wanted to be good at drawing, but I think this is where most artists- especially one’s just starting out- are!  I would rather show off work that resonates with those struggling with their art education so they can know that someone out there was having a hard time too.  

There is going to be a lot of work I would call “laughably bad” by professional standards.  I encourage you to laugh and reflect along with me as I show off my earliest ideas and designs.  Some of this is fanart, a lot of it are my very first OC’s.  I hope you enjoy this blog and if you are just starting out as an artist, I hope you get something out of this, because this is for you.

(BigWaifu)